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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595300">After the reveal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/clumsyghost/pseuds/clumsyghost'>clumsyghost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Divergence, M/M, Magical Shenanigans, Post Magic Reveal, characters actually talking to each other, in the words of avril lavigne, it's all been done before</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:08:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/clumsyghost/pseuds/clumsyghost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fear had no right to grace Merlin’s face. Merlin’s face was made for laughter, disrespectful sarcasm, and smiles that made his king’s heart beat quicker.</p>
<p>Arthur struggles to react to Merlin's confession.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>After the reveal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Not Brit-picked.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Up and at ‘em!” </p>
<p>Arthur groaned as the curtains swished apart, spilling sunlight into his chambers. He rolled over onto his side, intent on burying his head from the day ahead for five more minutes. His pillow, however, had other ideas. It zipped out from under the royal head, leaving Arthur bereft.</p>
<p>“Nrgh?” The king opened one eye to observe his traitorous pillow hovering in mid-air, fluffing itself out as if by magic.</p>
<p>Magic. Memories clicked into place. Merlin’s words a few days before, unthinkable, undeniable words once accompanied by a telling golden light and proof in the sorcerer's shaking outstretched hand. Relief warred with hurt, yet Arthur had only stared at his manservant. Fear had no right to grace Merlin’s face. Merlin’s face was made for laughter, disrespectful sarcasm, and smiles that made his king’s heart beat quicker.</p>
<p>“Mer<em>lin </em>!” Arthur growled and reached for the floating pillow. His hands closed on empty air.</p>
<p>“Morning, sire!” His manservant’s cheerful voice rang out in the chambers. “Breakfast is ready.”</p>
<p>Silently, Arthur rose out of bed. Behind him, the bed-covers began to twitch, straightening themselves out into a perfectly smooth layer. Arthur ignored the display of magic, sneaking a glance towards the bed only when Merlin was distracted. How he had ever thought Merlin capable of doing such a good job was beyond him. It had been magic all along.</p>
<p>Merlin held up his selection of the day’s apparel for approval. Arthur nodded then braced himself as his servant’s eyes flashed gold. Now that his secret was out, Merlin seemed determined to desensitize the king, flaunting small acts of magic here and there when it was just the two of them. Arthur was determined not to deal with it. They hadn’t discussed magic since that fateful day. Sometimes Arthur felt guilty for not having a definite answer, then waves of hurt and anger fortified him. If Arthur had had to wait nearly a decade for Merlin to trust him enough, then Merlin could just well be patient in return. A little voice in his heart whispered that the situation wasn’t the same, but Arthur ignored that too.</p>
<p>A pair of socks slid across the floor like snakes as the rest of the king’s clothes floated towards him. Arthur raised his arms in preparation, but his trousers attacked his ankles.</p>
<p>“No,” Arthur snapped. “Tunic first.”</p>
<p>Pant legs twined around his feet like cats. Grudgingly he lifted a foot. Fabric wiggled up one side of his leg. Arthur shifted his weight, gritting his teeth as the tunic plopped down over his eyes then promptly decided that was far enough. </p>
<p>“Down. Down! No, not that, trousers go up.” Blindly, Arthur tried to instruct the various articles of sentient clothing along, to little effect. Magic! His belt hovered nearby, spinning idly in circles as it waited.</p>
<p>Merlin watched, evidently amused. Arthur wistfully remembered the non-too-distant days when his manservant dressed him by hand. Merlin was the most handsy-iest person Arthur had ever known. In the beginning, this proved to be somewhat of an adjustment on Arthur’s part. Even now he would hardly admit how much comfort he derived from Merlin’s touch. Apparently all that was over now that Merlin could just… glow his way through his duties.</p>
<p>The king scowled.</p>
<p>“Arthur?” Merlin’s smile was gone. He looked one word away from bolting.</p>
<p>“Your magic listens as much as you do,” Arthur muttered. The tension in Merlin’s shoulders relaxed a fraction at the familiar banter.</p>
<p>“Magic doesn’t work well around clotpoles. You’ll have to be nicer.”</p>
<p>“Very funny.”</p>
<p>“C’mon. Your food is getting cold.”</p>
<p>“You mean, cold<em>er </em>?”</p>
<p>Arthur sat at the table, waving for Merlin to join him. He took advantage of their proximity to study his servant. In spite of his smile, Merlin looked tired, dark smudges under his eyes betraying his lack of sleep.</p>
<p>He should say something. He should have let Merlin talk more that day, instead of cutting him off mid-speech. The trouble was, Arthur didn’t know where to begin. “What’s the agenda for today?”</p>
<p>They talked as if nothing had changed, ate and picked at each other as if Arthur didn’t hear the quiet spell words or see the pitcher moving on its own to refill his glass after every sip. It was a bit much - not the magic itself, Arthur had to admit - but the frequency in which the pitcher animated itself. He knocked back half the drink but did not set the glass down. The pitcher hovered anxiously.</p>
<p>Arthur cleared his throat. “That’s quite enough.”</p>
<p>“Sorry. It’s trying to be helpful.” Merlin fiddled with a berry.</p>
<p>“The pitcher?”</p>
<p>“My magic,” Merlin answered firmly. He met Arthur’s gaze, a challenge set in the tilt of his head.</p>
<p>“I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that your magic will not allow me to die of thirst,” Arthur retorted. Merlin made a face. He tried to gauge Arthur’s expression but the king had perfected his blank expression after years of court. Arthur didn’t usually wear that expression around Merlin. It hurt, but was not unexpected. There had been a lot of hurt going around since his confession.</p>
<p>“My magic exists to protect you.” Matter-of-fact words spoken with calm sincerity. </p>
<p>When his knights swore their oaths, they pledged to lay down their lives for their king if necessary. Likewise, Arthur had long ago come to terms that he could be called to give his life for his kingdom. But Merlin wasn’t a knight.</p>
<p>He was a sorcerer. </p>
<p>Arthur had always considered magic as a weapon. But 'Merlin' and 'weapon' did not go together, unless the middle was ‘conveniently forgot to polish’. The idea that skinny, clumsy Merlin could protect him was ludicrous. With a sinking feeling, it hit Arthur that not only was this possible, but that it probably had already occurred. All the many coincidences of the past flashed before the king’s eyes.</p>
<p>Merlin, a protector of Camelot.</p>
<p>Merlin reached for another berry. Arthur caught his hand and turned it over. A servant’s hand, fingertips worn down from years of manual labor. Not the hand of someone who frequently cheated with magic. Of course not; Merlin couldn’t get caught. His very life depended on his stealth. Merlin’s well being depended on hiding something, according to him, he was born with.</p>
<p>
  <em> Just like Morgana... </em>
</p>
<p>Suddenly Arthur did not feel hungry. He released Merlin’s hand and watched him eat the majority of the breakfast. Afterwards, Merlin forwent magic to complete the remainder of Arthur’s toilette, combing the king’s hair himself. Merlin didn’t comment on Arthur’s soft hum of contentment and Arthur didn’t comment on Merlin’s smile.</p>
<p>Arthur went about his duties mechanically. The day passed smoothly and without incident. Merlin betrayed no hints of his sorcerer self, quite aware of Arthur’s close watch. So far, he had only ever displayed his magic in the king’s chambers, for which Arthur was grateful. Carrying Merlin’s secret lay heavy in his thoughts, but not for the reasons Arthur wanted. The initial anger and hurt had largely faded. Worry was now the principal response.</p>
<p>Camelot had failed Morgana. How could he protect Merlin?</p>
<p>Night descended. Back in his chambers once more, Arthur pushed aside the parchment he had been reading and rereading in vain. Merlin was tidying up, chatting away as usual. Here and there, his eyes would glow and something that shouldn’t happen would happen. Arthur watched as Merlin turned to stare at the kindling lying in the grate. The fire roared to life.</p>
<p>It was amazing, really, how sometimes Merlin could just… <em> do </em> things without even uttering a word. Incantation? Great, he was already learning sorcerer-talk. Merlin was ever a bad influence.</p>
<p>Merlin was watching him again. He had waited so many years to show Arthur this side of himself. He looked a little proud but mostly wistful. “You don’t seem to mind my magic.”</p>
<p>Arthur did not attempt to argue. “If I don’t, it is because it comes from you. And other people aren’t like you. I cannot expect everyone to use magic as you do.”</p>
<p>“They deserve the chance.” Fire burned in Merlin’s eyes. He drew closer to the desk. “Everyone deserves to live their lives without fear. To exist without shame for something they cannot change.”</p>
<p>“Merlin…” Brave, clumsy, loyal Merlin, who believed in Arthur more than he did himself. Merlin, standing judgement not just from his king, but from his friend. Judgement from someone who had refused to listen to his story. Arthur let out a slow breath. “Fine. Start talking.” </p>
<p>Arthur could see the turmoil of emotions on Merlin’s face. So many emotions, churning deeply. Merlin nodded but remained silent.</p>
<p>“What? Go ahead. Normally I can’t get you to shut up.”</p>
<p>Merlin swallowed hard. “It’s going to take a while. To talk about everything…”</p>
<p>Arthur narrowed his eyes. “Why?”</p>
<p>Merlin spread his hands in a gesture of innocence. “I’ve only saved your royal pratness practically every week since we’ve met.” He smiled. Arthur wasn’t fooled.</p>
<p>The king stood and maneuvered around the desk, not taking the bait. “What are you afraid of?” Inspiration struck him like a fist to his stomach. The pyres. Oh god. “You’re not. You’re not afraid of me… right? You know I would never….” </p>
<p>“Just afraid of losing you. Your trust,” Merlin amended thickly. “There have been things that I have done that…” He trailed off. <em> Magic is pure evil. </em> How long had Arthur’s words haunted his dreams?</p>
<p>“As have I.” Arthur reached out and laid a hand on the sorcerer’s shoulder. “Fortunately, I have had my manservant’s support, even at times when I have doubted myself. Allow me the opportunity to show you the same understanding. This magic thing is… Well. You’re still Merlin, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I guess.” Merlin closed the distance between them. The kiss was chaste, warm, and perfect.</p>
<p>For the second time within a week, Arthur stared at him, dumbfounded. “Is there anything else you wish to reveal?” He kept his tone stern, but there was no hiding the surprised, pleased smile on his face. He gave Merlin’s shoulder an extra pat.</p>
<p>“Well. Dragons feature heavily in my story….” Merlin grinned at the king’s expression. Now who looked like a startled stoat? </p>
<p>“....Talk.” </p>
<p>“Or we could not talk and spend our time differently.” Merlin’s eyes darted to Arthur’s mouth. He leaned in only to be brought up short by a hand in his face. “You are. Such. A. Clotpole.”</p>
<p>“I want to understand all of you.“ The expression on Arthur’s face made Merlin’s knees weak with relief. </p>
<p>Would Arthur still look upon him with such affectionate warmth after he heard his story? Some small, golden part of Merlin deep in his heart sang <em> yes</em>, but he could not give into it yet. There were still patches of anger and hurt to work through, but at long last, there would be no more secrets between them.</p>
<p>Merlin took a deep breath and began to speak.</p>
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